shitpeoplesayintf2:

tjyoshi:

there is no way i’m posting this to the blog but take it anyways

It’s like two in the morning here, and im still laughin, so i change my mind.

take this recap of the petty pony porn battle of 2014 and try not to get your manbaby feelings hurt while you’re at it

carrotcatmd:

STORY:On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.The following conversation occurs between the two of them:Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ Manager: ‘No. A what?’ Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.Do you have anything else?’ Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? Server: ‘I don’t know.’ Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ Server: ‘Yeah.’ Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ Server: ‘What should I do?’ Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ Me: ‘Why not?’ Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ Me: ‘Excuse me?’ Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ Me: ‘What on earth for?’ Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ Me: ‘No.’ Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ Guard: ‘Yeah.’Security Guard walks over to me and……Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ Me: ‘Uh, no.’ Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ Me: ‘Why?’ Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

carrotcatmd:

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

Do you have anything else?’ 

Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
Me: ‘Why not?’ 
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
Me: ‘No.’ 
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah.’


Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
Me: ‘Why?’ 
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

(via 8bitsquirrel)

afraiddave:

I really love Steel Ball Run because the main villain’s powers were “create infinite duplicates of yourself, travel through alternate dimensions and have functional immortality” and the hero’s power was “make your fingernails spin” and he wins by spinning his fingernails perfectly.

(via yotsuyuyagiyama)

Anonymous: the "Stop liking things I don't like" argument is pretty strong here

shitpeoplesayintf2:

am i weird for not wanting to see horses from a children’s show fucking each other each time i boot up tf2

am i

cutiebatty:

gallifreyishome:

shesthekingofnewyork:

seru-na-tebe:

jack-bakarat:

aditzybrunette:

effervescentforever:

mydetheturk:

poco-loki:

nah, he ran into her knife

he ran into her knife ten times

HE HAD IT COMING

HE ONLY HAS HIMSELF TO BLAME

IF YOU’D HAVE BEEN THERE

IF YOU HAD SEEN IT

I BET THAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME

i cannot stress enough how much i love this post  

she stabbed and almost killed him because of a quarrel they had and tried to say that several intruders had broken in and attacked him

fuck you. fuck all of you that think domestic abuse is funny or acceptable for any reason. If it had been the other way around you would be shitting yourselves in anger over it. fuck youuuuuu 

(Source: redsuspenders, via the-bazzard-cove)

randygbh:

thedustiestdesk:

Even Bryan Cranston laughs at you.

So I haven’t seen any posts about it, but that doesn’t mean a whole lot because I’ve been a bit absent from tumblr, but I know toys in general mean a lot to you guys. I mean, afterall, I would imagine none of you would follow me. What I am about to get into gets a bit more political than I tend to… like, at all, but it’s really relevant I think.

So a Florida “mom” is outraged over Breaking Bad toys at Toys R Us.

In 2014. A person is upset. That toys are being sold in a toy store. That are clearly marketed to adults, in an aisle of the store that is the “collectibles” aisle, and those toys are from a show that is for adults as well.

She’s about twenty-two years too late to be upset that adult media is receiving toys, isn’t she? Afterall, Kenner made not one, not two, but THREE whole lines dedicated to adult movies in their Alien, Terminator and Predator toys. And these were marketed not to adults, but very much so to kids. Unlike BrBa toys, they were put right alongside the Ninja Turtles, Jurassic Park, Transformers and GI Joes!

NECA even makes horror movie action figures, and so did Mezco for a time. Even “worse” than horror movie toys in Toys R Us, is the fact that Game of Thrones has toys not only at TRU, but at Barnes & Noble AND Target! That’s totally worse, right?

No, not according to these jackasses.

You see, Alien, Predator, Terminator, horror movies, Game of Thrones, they all have one thing in common, and very different than Breaking Bad.

Violence vs. Drugs.

Alien, etc. are all violent media. People die, get dismembered, get eaten by beds, impregnated with suggestive face things, have their heads chopped off by a nutjob kid king, all sorts of violent things. But they don’t make meth. Sure, BrBa is violent too, but it has drugs and violence. And it’s that “little bag full of meth that he carries around”! that is front and center.

For some reason, in America, drugs are worse than violence. For years there have been adult-themed toys on the market, from violent adult-themed media. But as soon as it’s a guy who cooks meth? That’s terrible. But why? Why is what I do to myself worse than mass murderers (even if they are strange alien species and cyborgs, and nightmare boogeymen) getting toys?

I’ve heard stories about TRU actually doing this, and the idiot mother actually appeared on the Today Show apparently, and one of her main sticking points is the drugs. There has been no mention of even considering pulling the NECA horror movie figures, or the GoT figures from B&N, TRU and Target, the violent toys are okay, but the drug (and violence, mind you) toys gotta go.

And that’s fucked up.

EX-FUCKING-ACTLY !

(via motolbrett)